I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
