Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
