it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
