bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
