the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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