I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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