Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
