If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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