just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
