i jhust puked up my retainher.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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