I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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