what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
