just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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