That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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