he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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