I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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