I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
