her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
