all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
