i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
