a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was born a porn star she said
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
