took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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