theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
