there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
