Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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