Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
