wat bout pragnant strippers??
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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