You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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