The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize