forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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