its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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