would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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