brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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