i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
