Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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