I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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