Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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