So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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