before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
