I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
