at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
