Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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