Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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