dude i'm inner monologue high
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
