He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
