nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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