When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
