dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
