We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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