Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
