do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
