I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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