I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
