he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize