My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
