I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
