lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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