Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
