That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize