btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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