I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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